2 Samuel 13 explained: Rape and Revenge in David's Family

Amnon's obsession and a scheme (vv. 1-6)

Amnon, David's eldest son, becomes obsessed with his half-sister Tamar, who is Absalom's full sister, but as an unmarried princess she was closely guarded (v. 2). His clever cousin Jonadab tells him to fake an illness so that David himself will send Tamar to cook for him.

Tamar's plea and the rape (vv. 7-14)

Sent by her father, Tamar bakes for Amnon, and when he grabs her she refuses plainly and warns that this outrage would shame her and disgrace him; he overpowers and rapes her. Her suggestion that the king would let them marry (v. 13) may have been a desperate attempt to escape, since Israel's law forbade half-siblings to marry (Leviticus 18:9), though some scholars think that rule was not followed at court.

Thrown out in grief (vv. 15-19)

Amnon's desire turns at once to hatred and he has her thrown out and the door bolted, which she calls an even greater wrong; the text does not say why, though many readers think it left her publicly shamed and cut off from any future, without even the support Israel's law could require of him (Deuteronomy 22:28-29). She tears the special robe worn by the king's unmarried daughters, puts ashes on her head as a sign of mourning, and leaves crying aloud.

Absalom's silence, David's anger (vv. 20-22)

Absalom tells Tamar to stay quiet for now, words that can be read as protective or as silencing, and while she lives on desolate in his house he says nothing to Amnon but hates him. David is furious but takes no recorded action; the ancient Greek translation, which the Orthodox Church uses as its Old Testament, and one Dead Sea Scroll have a line saying he would not punish Amnon because he loved him as his firstborn, and some modern Bibles include that line.

Murder at the sheep-shearing feast (vv. 23-29)

Two years later Absalom holds a sheep-shearing feast, a festive time of food and wine, and presses David until he lets Amnon come with the other princes. At Absalom's order his servants kill Amnon once he is drunk; the text ties this to Tamar (v. 32), though many interpreters suspect ambition too, since Amnon stood ahead of Absalom in line for the throne.

False report, grief and exile (vv. 30-39)

A first report says all the king's sons are dead, until Jonadab, who seems to have known Absalom's plan, says only Amnon died, and the weeping princes arrive. Absalom flees to his grandfather, the king of Geshur, for three years, and as David's grief for Amnon eases he longs for Absalom (v. 39), though the Hebrew is unclear and some read it as his anger toward Absalom fading instead.

Key verse: 2 Samuel 13:22

Where Christians differ

Christians differ in emphasis: many traditional readers see the chapter mainly as the start of the trouble the prophet Nathan announced to David in chapter 12, while many recent readers focus first on Tamar as a victim failed by the men around her.

Something to think about

Tamar speaks up clearly in this story and is then told to stay quiet; what does it take for someone who has been wronged to be truly heard?